My ArtistBlockReading: Dune books
Listening: LOTR soundtrack
Playing: Soul Reaver on the PSX
Or maybe it's more like a catch 22. A vicious circle. Uhm, yea, was talking to my roommate about this artblock thing I've been having for the last year or so. It's kinda hard to explain what it is exactly, but I'll try anyway. Whenever I look at a bad comicpage or a generic illustration I usually think to myself, I can beat that! I know that if I really do my best I can make pretty damn good stuff, but somehow I never really do. Something is always holding me back and the weird thing is that I know what it is, kinda, but that doesnt help. For example, I dont draw comics, cause I don't think I'm good enough yet, but, I can only get better at drawing comics by drawing comics. I tend to freak out a bit whenever I draw something, cause I know that when i post it online, a lot of people will see it. I'm not afraid of critique, it's just, uhm... I want to please these people, so what i'm drawing better be damn good. So I get really frustrated when something doesnt work out the way I picture it in my head. Isnt that weird? You can think up the most perfect illustration in your head and even when you know how everything should look and how it works, it never turns out the way you pictured it in your mind. I know, no drawing is ever perfect. It's really retarded, that stupid fears like this are holding me back and I'm getting sick and tired of it by now.
A friend of mine told me he had a 'secret' sketchbook, so whenever he just wanted to draw something he wasnt feeling confident about, something he never drew before, he'd just drew it in there. So no matter how shitty it looked, it didnt matter, cause only he would see it. A lot of people told me a sketchbook should look like a battlefield, filled with crappy sketches and maybe one or two finalised drawings that emerged from all those sketches. But I'm kinda at a point that I dont want to show people my work anymore, cause I feel that its not that good, I can do better. But... one can only grow by listening to critique. You see? Uhm, so yea, it's kinda weird, but this is kinda whats holding me back... I think?
Pfffff...
red monkey
friends and other rad artists:
Devious Comments
The way that i did that was by telling myself that where i was artistically, the level i was at the things i was producing was a reflection of where i actually am as an artist, and all of the other things that i had produced in the past that were "AMAZING", were all a fluke. Now, i imagine that this sounds kinda like backwards progress, but what it did for me was MAKE ME WORK HARD AT BECOMING A BETTER ARTIST, i was taking my stuff to other artists' and having them critique it, and to conventions to have pros tell me that they liked it, and then i basically started at square one bettering myself, learning everything over again. AGAIN, i dont know how it worked, but it did, and now im producing the BEST stuff i have ever done, man bro, i hope i can help you in any way.
I SERIOUSLY KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL, it started to get depressing to me, i started asking God if this was the right profession aim for me to aim at, and He's just now starting to show me that it has alot more to do with me than Him, and that this was something that i needed to work through. So keep at it, and never forget that you always got support with YA BOYS RIGHT HERE ON DA! And for a little inspiration go to [link] and click on the "Y" and look at Leinil Francis Yu's Original work, that always makes me work harder. LOL! PEACE!
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While Coconuts are HARD and ROUGH on the outside they have no core, and are HALLOW deep within. We should strive to be more like Peaches, soft and fuzzy on the outside, BUT AN UNBREAKABLE CORE within.
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Design and Serigraph [link]
Yu's brilliant, he's grown so much since Wolverine and he did a kickass job on that. So yea, good stuff.
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While Coconuts are HARD and ROUGH on the outside they have no core, and are HALLOW deep within. We should strive to be more like Peaches, soft and fuzzy on the outside, BUT AN UNBREAKABLE CORE within.
A secret sketchbook sounds like a good idea!
When I'm drawing in my sketchbook I'm always thinking: Oh no! somebody is going to see this when he is looking through my sketchbook.
It's holding me back.
Good luck! Have fun in drawing!
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